She Gave It A Go isn’t just about beautiful farmhouse decor. One of the aspects of She Gave It A Go that is most dear to my heart is family. And a healthy marriage is a solid foundation for a healthy family. As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I have worked with countless couples who are looking for ways to better their marriage. And while there are hundreds of concepts we could look at to improve our marriages, I want to hone in on one specific way you can better your marriage today.  

Oftentimes, we think of change in terms of behaviors.  And most likely it’s in terms of wanting to change your spouse’s behaviors.  While it would be nice if there were some magical way to do this, the important thing is to focus on the change YOU can make.  The change I’m talking about today is changing your thoughts, especially the way you think about your spouse. 

Specifically, I want you to ask yourself this question: “What am I saying to myself today about my spouse”?

More often than not, we can stay stuck in a negative thought cycle about our spouse.  For example, you may think, “I really don’t like it when my husband doesn’t take the trash out when it’s so obvious that I’ve set it by the back door for him to do so.  Doesn’t he see it?” That negative thought can impact the way you interact with him the rest of the day, and ultimately the way you feel toward him. 

The challenge is this: instead of saying a negative thought to yourself, replace it with a positive one. 

So, take the example above and notice the difference: “I really don’t like it when my husband doesn’t take the trash out, but he managed to find time in his day today to drop off my packages at the post office. That was really kind.” This immediately moves the thought cycle from negative to positive! 

Now take a moment and think of the things you have been saying to your self about your spouse. Are they negative or positive? If they are negative, try changing them like I mentioned in the example above. Challenge yourself to replace the negative with the positive, and start today!